Thursday, June 10, 2010

Swag...and 25 Rules for Writing


Shannon Whitney Messenger is giving away an autographed copy of The Body Finder AND some cool swag here! Check it, yo. 

GO FOLLOW Karsten Knight's blog...let's make him shake his money maker! 

a checklist for professional writing skillz
1. Don’t abbrev.
2. Check to see if you any words out.
3. Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct.
4. About sentence fragments.
5. When dangling, don’t use participles.
6. Don’t use no double negatives.
7. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
8. Just between you and I, case is important.
9. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
10. Don’t use commas, that aren’t necessary.
11. Its important to use apostrophe’s right.
12. It’s better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive.
13. Never leave a transitive verb just lay there without an object.
14. Only Proper Nouns should be capitalized. also a sentence should
begin with a capital letter and end with a full stop
15. Use hyphens in compound-words, not just in any two-word phrase.
16. In letters compositions reports and things like that we use commas
to keep a string of items apart.
17. Watch out for irregular verbs that have creeped into our language.
18. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
19. Avoid unnecessary redundancy.
20. A writer mustn’t shift your point of view.
21. Don’t write a run-on sentence you’ve got to punctuate it.
22. A preposition isn’t a good thing to end a sentence with.
23. Avoid cliches like the plague.
24. 1 final thing is to never start a sentence with a number.
25. Always check your work for accuracy and completeness.

A cheeky little list, yes?

Also, I think this is badass :

And this :

Happy Thursday!



~Nicole Ducleroir~ said...

Cracking up over here!!!! I loved 'Avoid cliches like the plague.' -- although choosing one favorite from that list is impossible. Too funny!

Thanks for making me laugh out loud this morning. And, LOVE that book art!

Happy Thursday!

Chris Catledge said...

'Avoid cliches like the plague.' that's my favorite.

Thanks, I am copying your list and placing it above my desk.

Melissa said...

Love, love, love! That mans face out of books is absolutely amazing! I kept staring at it. And after I comment I'm going to go back and stare some more.

The list and Popeye are pretty amazing too.

T.D. Newton said...

Woo, book + swag! Thanks for putting the word out.

Pretty amazing that that blog has 700+ followers. You should get a +1 contest entry for referring me!

Rebecca @ Diary of a Virgin Novelist said...

#2 is a hardcore problem of mine. I also tend to write a different word than I am thinking and don't realize it until much much later.

Alesa Warcan said...

LOL! That list is wonderful! I can't pick a favourite! : j Thanks for posting it.

Jon Paul said...

I gotta go the grocery store and buy me some spinach, like Popeye. Then my abs'll look like an Encyclopedia Britannica set!

I got one more for your list: 'Show, don't tell.'


Lola Sharp said...

Thanks TD! :)
I love me some swag too. Free is for me!

Summer said...

Heh heh. LOVE IT!

Amy Jo Lavin said...

Great list! Can I share it with my high school students?

Jaydee Morgan said...

Love the list - too funny :)

And love the man made of books!

Sugar said...

that list made my brain hurt! ack!

Piedmont Writer said...

Fun Fun Fun. Happy Thursday!

Al said...

that list is just too much fun!

Karsten Knight said...

I appreciate the Blog Link Lovin, though I think I'd rather win a copy of The Body Finder then watch me shake it in a leotard.

Erica Mitchell-Spickard said...

How in the world did they make that face out of books. It's like a house of cards, or at least would be in my hands. Very cool. So half of that list are things I still do. Comma's! Ack! I probably misuse those the most and I'm sure I did in the comment as well.
Shannon does have some great swag :D

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Those were great! Thanks for the laugh.

Janet Johnson said...

I had a list of most of those rules hanging on my wall in college. Am I a geek or what? :)

Anonymous said...

Hee, I love that list. So hilarious! Thank you for sharing!

JEM said...

Love it! This will go on my tips board in the writing room.

Anonymous said...

Hi Lola! Thanks for following me! Rofl, I love the list. For me it's the apostrophe's (teehee).

Old Kitty said...

"Avoid unnecessary redundancy" LOL!
My favourite!

Thanks for these hilarious tips!

Take care

Patti said...

I love that list.

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Darling, you find the coolest stuff!! Love it! I want to print that list out and hang it on my desk so I can laugh my head off when I has a little problem following the rules correct don't you think I should.

Jen said...

bahaha girl you crack me up! Awesome writing list... I'm heading over to make him shake his money maker too!!!

Awesome pictures!!! Way awesome pictures!

Pat Tillett said...


Southpaw said...

I love this one Avoid unnecessary redundancy. Thanks for stopping by.

Stephanie Thornton said...

I love that list! I should print it out for my students- they could use the reminder sometimes.

Crystal Cook said...

LOVE all of those! So fun :)

Lola Sharp said...

Amy Jo--Yes, of course. I've had this list for years, but I don't know who originally wrote it. Print and use as you like. :)

Laura Marcella said...

LOL!!! That list is excellent! The pics are fantastic, too! The second one is how my biceps look, yup! ;) Happy Thursday, Lola!

Terresa said...

Popeye never looked so good. Word.

Palindrome said...

I don't what's more funny: your list or my first drafts exhibiting examples half the list. Things that make you go hmmmmm.

Carolyn V. said...

I love the list! And Popeye's muscles...awesome!

Anonymous said...

Pure awesomeness! And thank you for following my blog! I'm definitely going to be keeping up with yours! : ]

Jemi Fraser said...

Awesome list!

My kids think it's weird when I laugh while reading the computer :)

Kittie Howard said...

Love your list! Split infinitives drive me nuts. Also 'your' for 'you're' and the 'there' and 'there' disasters.

Kazzy said...

LOL Love these! I have such a problem with people misusing apostrophes. Grrr

Kathi Oram Peterson said...

Sooo funny! Loved it! Thanks for the chuckle today.

Jeff King said...

I did like the list... thx for the links as well.

Lola Sharp said...'re my 300th follower!!! :)

Vicki Rocho said...

First, I loved your post today. What a great list. Second, thanks for the heads up on Karsten's vlog. HYSTERICAL.

Meghan Ward said...

Love that list!

Theresa Milstein said...

I'm subbing trying not to laugh out loud in front of the students!

I was going to say to avoid words like "was" "that" "were" and "like" but I like decided you were done with your list so that was that!

Talli Roland said...

Haha - great list, Lola! I am guilty of many on here, I'm afraid - at least at some point in the past (hopefully not the future, so much).

Have a great weekend!

G.~ said...

You're pretty clever Lola. ;) Great list.

Talei said...

Oh you got me laughing here! What a great list! I esp like #14! ;) And, yes that pic is badass!

Heather said...

Excellent checklist! I may print this out for a reference. Love the pictures by the way!

Stina Lindenblatt said...

LOL. Great checklist. Yep, I've make a lot of those mistakes in the past. And some I make. ;)

Jai Joshi said...

I haven't read the rules yet but I wanted to drop a quick comment to say hi. I'm still alive and kicking!


Anonymous said...

That list is brilliant! so, so funny and a great stress/guilt reliever for me. Thanks, Lola!

DL Hammons said...

Great list! I'm embarrassed to admit how many I've broken. :)

Elliot Grace said...

Lola, pushing the issue of numbers a bit editor offered this advice when dealing with numbers.

Stay consistent. While writing, actually using the number as opposed to spelling the number out is okay, as long as you do so throughout the entire story. Flipping back and forth between numbers and spelled numbers is a major NO NO. Works the same with telling time. All numbers...12:00, or twelve o'clock...either is fine, but never bounce between the two.

He's a wonderful aquaintance...but a perfectionist to the hilt:)

Missed Periods said...

Love the list. Oh, and I love that Popeye pic.

Lola Sharp said...

Elliot-- I agree with your editor.

In fact, that consistency is important (imperative!) with ALL style choices you make within a manuscript.

But that list was just snarky humor...definitely not comprehensive advice.
(Though, it certainly drives home some valid points.)

Susan Fields said...

Love your list! And the Popeye muscle picture. Who needs spinach when you've got books?

Fran said...

This is a great post. I absolutely love the bookshelves. I want some like that.

Will Burke said...

Outstanding! That was a lot of fun! Thank you.

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Oh my, I do LOVE the new look!! FAbulous, my dear.

Simon C. Larter said...

Popeye is the reason I have an anchor tattoo. (I don't have an anchor tattoo.)

Also, that list made me laugh even though it's maybe the fourth time I've seen it. Every now and then reminded to not split my infinitives and to avoid run on sentences and things like that because its just better english that way.


Kerrin said...

love the list! very amusing!!

sarahjayne smythe said...

Have I mentioned lately how much you rock? Awesome post, great list. I'm copying it for myself and sticking it up next to desk.

Have a great weekend. :)

May your pen be mighty

May your pen be mighty

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Lola Sharp
My name is Lola. (I'm not a showgirl) Yes, L-O-L-A Lola. It's the least of my worries. Let's move on, shall we? This blog is mostly about my misadventures on the journey to publication and beyond. My passion for lush prose, quirky characters, art, music, literature, performing arts and anything creative will be a major theme here. This journey of mine will not always be pretty. Much like rubbernecking a train wreck, I know sometimes you just can't help but look at the carnage that is often my life. So strap on your neck brace, helmet and 5-point harness and come along for the ride! Licentia poetica.
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