Friday, May 7, 2010

Happy Friday!

Happy Mother's Day, to those, like myself: mothers.

Being a mother is the best part of my life. And the hardest. My daughter is 14, moody, eye-rolling, snarky, emotional, PMS-y, lazy, and gorgeous. She didn't have a "terrible two's" phase, never threw a temper tantrum. She was the easiest, happiest kid in the world... until around age 12. If anyone has had success navigating through this teen phase and turned out a decent adult, I'd love some tips.

On writing: The post below is a repost from my early blogging days. Please scroll down and tell me your writing dreams.

Happy Weekend!

Love,
Lola

54 comments:

Jaydee Morgan said...

Sounds like my daughter (who is 15 going on 25) ;) Hang in there and have a great Mother's day!

Piedmont Writer said...

Mine's only 5 but she's sounds a lot like yours. Happy Mother's Day Dearest.

KarenG said...

Happy Mother's Day! Here's my two cents worth-- Be kind and loving but still be a mom. Save the friendship for later when she's a mom, too.

Aubrie said...

Happy Mother's Day to you! I teach flute to kids around that age and it is hard! Good luck :)

Courtney Barr - The Southern Princess said...

Happy Mother's Day Lola!

Um...12 year olds: patience, no teasing, remember how you wanted your mom to talk to you when you were 12 and try hard to be mom & friend.

Visit My Kingdom Anytime

Joanne said...

I find that my relationship gets even stronger with my daughters with each passing year. We really share so much, and our history together is cherished.

Happy Mother's Day to you!

Crystal Cook said...

Happy Mother's Day to you! I only have boys and the oldest is 8 so I'm useless with advice! But you said it perfectly, motherhood is the hardest thing I have ever done, but it is by far the best :)

Chantel said...

When I was 12 my mother cut my hair...and later that week while loading hay onto our truck, the other rancher told my dad, "Wow, your son is really strong."

I cried for a month. I swear I will die with LONG hair.

On the other hand, after I grew up, I realized that my mother--my parents in general--did the best they could in that moment with what they had. I love them madly.

Happy Mothers Day Lola!

Cynthia Reese said...

Oh, man, Lola, do you know how much this is wigging me out?? Your description of your perfect angel is spot-on with mine. The Kiddo's just 8, but already I'm seeing those eyes roll!

The Sister says that the body-snatchers come and suck the souls out of kids around 10 or so and replace them with Linda Blair/THE EXORCIST impersonators ... but around 15 or 16, vestiges of your angel start to come back.

Hope so for both of our sakes!

Old Kitty said...

Hi

Happy Mother's Day to you!!

I can't believe you have a 14 year old daughter! Well good for you. Awww she sounds absolutely wonderful and normal!

I don't have any tips - sorry!! I just remember me at that age and my mum just ignored me (in the most loving way!!!) and let me get on with getting over whatever it was I needed to get over (which probably wasn't anything much!). LOL!

Take care
x

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I call that "Things I will thankfully never experience!"

Carolyn V. said...

Happy Mother's Day Lola!
Don't worry 14-15 is the hardest for girls. I'm just glad I'm not at that age anymore! =)

Talli Roland said...

Happy Mother's Day! I wish I had some tips for you, but I don't!

Hope your family has a great weekend.

Summer said...

Hm. Well, when I was 14, I discovered Laurell K. Hamilton. Then I was too busy reading about hot vampire/shapeshifter nookie to antagonize my parents. 'Course, I didn't do my rebelling until college. :-)

Happy Mother's Day, Lola!

The Alliterative Allomorph said...

Happy mother's day! Unfortunately I am not a mother - but I can possibly reflect on what I was like. My teenage years were rampant with rebeliousness and at some point I just got sick of it and realised what this whole 'living' business was about and calmed down. I think it all just depends on personality. That probably wasn't much help - but hey, that was my two cents ;)

Ann said...

My advice, take a deep breath, take a step back and bite your tongue! This will pass, I promise! About mid-twenties should see the end to it.

Matthew Rush said...

Wow um Lola ... are you sure you're talking about YOUR daughter and not mine? Mine is 14 and exactly as you just described. Apparently I'm ruining her life because I wouldn't drive her to a B-Day party for one of her friends at 9PM last night. On a school night. I might have considered it if it had been planned and permission earned days a head of time, but at the last second? No.

That being said she is basically a great kid. Socially awkward, sure, a little nerdy, yeah. But she doesn't smoke drink or try to grow up too fast in other ways so I can't complain.

When I was her age I was a hellion. I'm not going to go into detail but my mom died when I was eleven and I went to six different high schools. It was tough but the most important thing I needed to know at that time was that I had somewhere to go home to where I was accepted. Sometimes it's hard to enforce your rules and still let your kids know you love and accept them.

Just my two cents.

Today's guest bloggers are Lisa and Laura Roecker!

Wendy Ramer said...

Since your daughter sounds exactly the way I was (great baby, toddler, child...then age 12!), please rest assured she will grow into a fabulous woman! ;-) Now if I could be as lucky as you...my daughter is only 9 and has been this way since she could talk at 12 months. I'm kinda hoping that age 12 is going to shoot her hormones into sweet, compliant, cheery girl.

La Belette Rouge said...

Hope you have a fantastically wonderful Mother's Day.
xxoo

Susan Fields said...

My oldest daughter is 14 and sounds exactly like yours. I think we just have to grin and bear it for the next ten years or so. :(

I loved your post below - such gorgeous photos! I think the enchanted cottage was my favorite (well, after Daniel Craig, of course!)

Lola Sharp said...

Oh Susan, I don't think I can hack the 4 years left until college. She is le mis.

And Matt, yes, I am told I am ruining her life rather frequently. BUT, as miserable as she is, she doesn't do anything BAD.
And Matt, my childhood was brutal and ugly and unloving too. I'm sorry for yours.
At least we turned out well, yes?

Love,
Lola

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Happy Mother's Day and have a great weekend, Lola! :-)

Lydia Kang said...

Oh, I'm not looking forward to the pre-teen years. I'm hiding when that happens!
Happy Mom's Day!

mo.stoneskin said...

Daughters huh! Mine is only 19 months but I'm aware of what they become...

I'd love to actually write in Paris, but a cafe is good enough these days, or a pub, but I don't use a laptop for that, just a scrap of paper.

Jai Joshi said...

Happy Mother's day. I have no advice to give you for the teen years. I have no idea how I got through them myself.

Jai

Jemi Fraser said...

I just read this to my daughter and we laughed (she's older and we did survive - but I think I've blocked most of those memories, so sadly no help!)

Jeff King said...

Happy Mother's Day and Friday... as far as teens go, prepare them young for this time in their life. If they slip, it is nearly impossible to get them back. They seem to know more than anyone about anything. Listen, talk, and do things with them, on a constant basis—that is the best advice I can give to any parent going through that patch of FUN.

Cheeseboy said...

Oh, I dread when my kids hit the teen years. My only advice is to hold on really tight and keep your seatbelt buckled (especially when they hit 15 1/2)

MissV said...

hahahaha...mine is 14 too. Most of the time she's pretty good, but once in awhile she lets it all loose! Save me.

Happy Mother's Day to you!

Wendy aka Quillfeather. said...

Happy Mothers Day!

PS. I've left you a little something on my blog :)

Angie Paxton said...

Happy Mother's Day! Should I be concerned that mine is only two and already has the eye roll thing down?

Tara said...

Now I'm terrified. I have two 8 yr olds who never threw tantrums, never had terrible two's. What does that mean for their teens? And my barely-hanging-by-a-thread-now sanity?

Roland D. Yeomans said...

Happy Mother's Day to a very creative and very unusual mother. Your daughter didn't have a terrible two phase.

But now it seems the teenage years are like some brooding storm in your home. Ouch. Her body is no longer familiar or sometimes even her friend. Her hormones are wailing inside her like a banshee. And she wants what she wants even when she doesn't quite know what that is. But, da-- it, she wants it.

You're in my prayers. Your daughter can do everything to drive you nuts -- but stop time. She will eventually mature. Until then it will be an experience, Roland

Portia said...

Happy Mother's Day to you too! And Happy weekend :-) I hope it's a relaxing one for you.

Lola Sharp said...

Thank you everyone. :)

Tara, be afraid, very afraid!

Roland, you're right, of course. Hormones/PMS, boys, friends, drama, school/grades stress...it's hard to be 14.

Jeff, Yeah, we keep her close, and she is good in that she doesn't hang with any bad kids or anything. She's a good girl as far as that stuff goes goes.

Cheeseboy, you're scaring me....what happens at 15 1/2??? If you mean drivers license, the ONLY good thing about living in NJ is they cant get permits (which is strict) until 16, and license at 17...and even then, they are have driving curfews and capacity limitations. The laws here are strict.

Happy Mother's Day! :)

Terresa said...

Happy Mom's Day, dear Lola.

A friend of mine described her teenage daughter like this:

At age 16, aliens came and took her brain. For 1 year she wasn't herself in any way, shape or form. Then, a year later, the aliens returned her brain and she was *back.*

Here's hoping your daughter (and you) survive the alien abduction of the teen years.

--sigh--

PS: I will have 4 teenagers at the same time some day (yes, my kids are all 5 years apart). Eeeks!!

Clara said...

I think this phase is never easy for anyone- god I remember what I put my own mom through lol. But I think we have to be understanding but also not take crap at the same time: Even though hormones rule teens, they r still our babies and we have to raise them to the world. So, my unexpert advise is this: May the force be with you my friend!

PJ Hoover said...

Happy Mother's Day, Lola! My Lola is five and provides me challenges even now. Maybe it will be better when she's 12?

Helena Carlo said...

Ha, ha! No, my daughter is 3, so I'll have to learn from your navigation, if you don't mind. :)
Happy Mother's Day!

Kazzy said...

Boys go through this moody thing too. Some days I would see my teens coming home from school and would go into my bedroom for 15 minutes so they could come in, slam their backpacks down, bang around in the kitchen and grumble all by themselves. :)

That is my happy tip for the day.

Shelley Sly said...

Your daughter sounds normal! I was probably worse at that age (you'd have to ask my mother, though.) I don't have kids yet, but I'll brace myself for the teenage years, hehe.

Happy Mother's Day!

Jon Paul said...

Happy Mother's Day to you too, Lola! :)

Elliot Grace said...

Happy Mother's Day Lola Dear!
...I'm currently turning our shed in the back yard into something liveable...a bed, plumbing and what-not,for when my daughter turns TEEN. Not for her...for me.
The thought makes a tiger in the bathroom not such a big deal anymore:) Have a great weekend!

T.J. Carson said...

p.s. don't forget about your blog award on my page :) happy momma's day!!!!!!!!!

Lisa and Laura said...

Happy Mother's Day Lola!!! Motherhood is AMAZING and exhausting. I love your honesty.

India Drummond said...

Sounds like my son a bit. He has mood swings and ranges from sweet to sulky. But at 15, he's getting much better.... so my advice is "hold on!"

TechnoBabe said...

Happy Mothers Day to you.

Jen said...

Happy Mother's Day! Good luck with the teenage years, I wish I could offer advice but I WAS the unruly teenager and it wasn't until I turned 17 that I decided to grow up. Yup, I was a devil child...

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

I recently read an article that said that most parents think that the teenage years are far worse than the terrible twos. So far, I've been fairly lucky--but even my mild-mannered, easy-going 13-year old daughter has her trying days. I'm crossing my fingers that I won't screw her up too badly.

Lola Sharp said...

Happy Mother's Day, friends!

Dawn said...

Darn...I was hoping to gain some *how to deal with a snarky, eye-rolling* teenager advice. I married my high school sweetheart last year (after a 20 year separation) and became *insta-mom* to a 13-year-old. I know, kill me now :-)

Love your blog. I'm a new follower.

~Nicole Ducleroir~ said...

Hope your Mother's Day was magical!

XXOO Nicole

B. Miller said...

Happy Mother's Day, Lola! I hope you had a fantastic holiday. :)

Lydia Kang said...

Hey, I gave you an award over at my blog!

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Lola Sharp
My name is Lola. (I'm not a showgirl) Yes, L-O-L-A Lola. It's the least of my worries. Let's move on, shall we? This blog is mostly about my misadventures on the journey to publication and beyond. My passion for lush prose, quirky characters, art, music, literature, performing arts and anything creative will be a major theme here. This journey of mine will not always be pretty. Much like rubbernecking a train wreck, I know sometimes you just can't help but look at the carnage that is often my life. So strap on your neck brace, helmet and 5-point harness and come along for the ride! Licentia poetica.
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